MT BLOOPERS

here are just some of the many misheard in medical trascription that my friends and i compiled from work. i can't remember the others but i'll try to post them here when i do. these are in random order:

1. the patient needs psychic consultation secondary to her orthopedic injuries. (psychiatric)

2. breast augmentation procedure... the incision was made along the premature of the breast. (perimeter)

3. FAMILY HISTORY: The patient is married and has one chow. (child)

4. ALLERGIES: BATHROOM, causes hives. (Bactrim)

5. DIAGNOSIS: Irritable vowel syndrome. (bowel)

6. The patient was brought to the qualified Multispecialty Surgery Center. (Westside)

7. Worker's Compensation Appeals Board close friends. (close parenthesis)

8. Active range of motion is measured by Compass Goniometer foot prints. (put parenthesis)

9. The patient has undergone cabbage. (CABG - Coronary Artery Bypass Graft)

10. DIAGNOSES: Cervical degenerative disc disease and lumbar spiral stenosis. (spinal)

DALMATIAN WANNABE!

I was in my 4th area on my mission in Bacolod when i saw this weird dog. it took me sometime to regain my composure because i couldn't stop laughing. whoever did this was a complete Genius! a simple street dog with a little spritz of paint...voila! you've got yourself your own version of Dalmatian.









if you can't buy one, paint one!

I'd like to buy a vowel

it's been a year since i became a medical transcriptionist. 7 hours of listening to the doctors dictate their patient's diagnoses and procedures...you have to be a touch typist to meet the quota. 780 lines and 98% accuracy is not a joke! i salute whoever transcribed benny lava on youtube. lol. transcribing surgical procedures from breast augmentation to esophagogastroduodenoscopy to unwanted pregnancies are really interesting. the doctors from Cedar Sinai Medical Center to Las Vegas Regional Surgery Center are unremarkable. from american doctors to english-speaking hindu doctors and english-speaking japanese doctors..you'll hear the worst. :D and what adds to the awesomeness of this job, DVORAK...dvorak typing. WHAT???

honestly, when i first heard DVORAK, i thought it was the cousin of Molotov cocktail. lol. what the heck was DVORAK??? do i have to eat it with my fingers or drink it with a straw??? when our trainer handed out some papers to us with DVORAK layout on it...it sure looked SO complexed. i thought there must be something wrong with the layout. i had to squint over and over to check if my eyes were playing tricks on me, but they weren't. needless to say we had the paper with the drawing on it memorized. then, the next day came, we had to type using the layout only in our minds. needless to say, everybody was complaining! how in the world we'd be able to type in the computer without cheating??? i was not a QWERTY touch typist...i only used both my index fingers to type let alone screw the letters in the keyboard. the day was almost over and we had to do a typing speed test. we were all dreading it for 3 months of training but yes, i got 5 wpm! not bad knowing that Fernan and Maricris only got 4 wpm!!! ha!

so, i've searched bout DVORAK online. here's to sum up what i've read online:

Dvorak keyboard was designed for the typist, to make typing more efficient, more comfortable, faster.

Qwerty keyboard was designed for the machine, to improve the performance of the machine not the typist.

i'm SO relieved that we don't use typewriters anymore. :)